I love having this blog!

So I tried to end this blog but I love that I can say whatever I want on here and hopeful entertain people haha.

Something new my next blog I’m going to ask people to ask me any questions and I will answer them!

I think this is the end of this blog!

Well it’s official this will be my last blog!

I have started with a online networking business that I am committed to blog daily or even more!

I’m really going to miss my topics I talked about on here.

If you would like to continue reading my blogs I can post my email so I can forward you my new blog.

This might even reveal the real me and not mysterious Canadian girl, a chance at seeing my real name, and my photos.

http://socialmediabar.com/kcahoose

Another year goes by…..

We all know when it’s coming, we dread that time of the year unless your some yeppy who loves Valentine’s Day…

Being out of a relationship I started to pick myself up and fix this broken heart. Feel good and empowered to going shopping and seen pink hearts and heart shaped candies everywhere well let me tell you something the human heart is not even shaped that way and pink is a horrible color just makes that aisle look like someone puked up pepto bisimol everywhere.

I hate Valentine’s day and the worst part I hate being that single friend when all her friends who have relationships talk about this stupid commercialized day to its the second worst “holiday” from Christmas.

I’m planning on doing what I do on Christmas get drunk instead of dancing with the Christmas tree shoot stupid pink heart arrows with my glittery bow at people.

Maybe one day just one day I find that man or women I plan on spending the rest of my life with I will do all that stuff with but who knows!

Ciao,

I will survive

I have finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel!

I dont for once want to go back to my ex, I dont want a lot of money and materialistic items, and I’m nog worried about doing nothing.

For one dont think of me as lazy I have always been a hard worker and worked since I was 13 years old, juggle school with work and personal life and also all the volunteer work I did. For once my life is not on a pedestal with eyes watching my every move and being the perfect girl.

Now I am so relaxed and living a care free life, let me tell you it’s amazing.

Couldn’t be anymore happier than I am now!

Sometimes I wonder if I would live a life like her

So every person has a thing to get them over a heartache from partying, next lover, or eating Ben and Jerry’s crying.

I’m not talking about just break up say you lost someone you truly love, what helps you grieve.

When I was a young punk I believed I would spend the rest of my life alone and I always listening to break up songs and I was never heartbroken but everytime I am going through a rough patch in life this is what I do. I use to have a hard time crying on my own (I grew up in a family men dont cry and the women dont cry either) so I would watch movies to make me cry and sometimes I still do but it’s a choice do I want to be depressed and miserable or just be strong. I always watch the notebook or Grey’s Anatomy series and ball my eyes out like a baby. When I go through a break up or something along that line I listen to Janis Joplin album over and over I know all the songs by heart now, I’ll cry and ponder about life like I’m single again what’s wrong with me all that girly stuff and when I was younger heavy using my drugs I wonder (I was high when I thought about this) if I would die like Janis Joplin alone, heartbroken, and from an overdose. I mean if you listen to what she sings about its all about being alone and break ups and getting strong again and best of all she was bisexual like me. Now that I’m off the drugs looking back on this just shows where I was in life than and how I am now. It’s a choice if I want to end that way or allow my life to unroll the way its suppose to be.

I guess what I’m getting at here is that you have a choice and you decide on what your going to do, no body else will. See I didnt have this knowledge when I was younger it would have save me a lot of hospital visits from drug overdoses, suicide attempts, psy ward visit (once and never plan on going back), and how much time I wasted but if I didnt go through this I would not have the knowledge and strength I have now.

I’m CRAZY 😉

CONTENT CONTAINS SEXUAL GRAPHIC LANGAUGE READ IF YOU CAN HANDLE IT!

Who doesn’t want to have sex unless your a religious nut or a nun, it’s totally normal to crave sexual intercourse.

I must say in our generation sex seems like everything, people who date dont really wait, no waiting till marriage for sex, and sex sells! Let’s face it sex does sell. When I was escorting I thought about it this way, if a horny man had his last two hundred dollars and didnt to choose by buying something or sex chances are sex wins, how I know this I year them tell the story all the time.

Now you may think because I was an escort I am satisfied with the sex I got? Your wrong because most clients are not your type and I see sex with them as business which I keep my personal life and business life separate (this goes for real jobs which I have had).

Along with sex and multiple partners, readers safe sex is very important (I was studying to be in the medical field if something didnt look right or smell right was not going near it)  Its important to get tested regular even if you dont have symptoms, I get tested every 3-4 month’s and paps every 6 month’s. Just be sure when you find the one you will marry you will be okay to lie about your sex history, I know I will try to hide the fact I was an escort but I always get honest about everything and if a man cant accept your past hes not the one.

Here are the things I hate about finding a booty call:

-The men who play you and fuck with your head about “wanting more than just sex” but just want to get into your pants.
I know this game so well a playa can see another playa game. I’m the type of girl I will straight up tell you what I want and how I want in no need for you to court me with lies and how you want more than just sex go find someone else to play that game on. 

–The man who lacks confidence and needs reassurance all the time.
This annoys me because I should be the one acting like the chick and bitching and complaining or asking you if I look fat.

-The man who tells you that your not his type but he is so horny he will still fuck you.
This one is my favorite kind of guy because they make me laugh. If you all didnt know I am a bigger girl so I always have guys who say they dont do “fat” girls because I’m not their type, I could say the same thing to because odds are they are younger and all about jersey shore crap. Sexiest thing to me is intelligence I love being with men who are lawyers, pharmacist, or any career that involves higher education than high school. You can have better conversations before and after sex vs. hey did u watch jersey shore last night? GTL crap. My experience with guy like this I came over to his place, he was nervous asked for my name and I told him it doesn’t matter and to get naked, and wanna know who was calling me for another round again? Why because I was the best ever I laughed at him and said I’m not your type and left it as that.

-The man who just wants sex and nothing more isn’t always true.
My best friend and I talked about this because her and I are exactly the same. Ladies you know how guys always treat us when it comes to just sex they treat us like shit and it makes us wonder why we keep doing this well once I grew thicker skin and a pair of balls I started treating men like this and especially the ones who I want nothing more because they are the ones who whines the most because right after sex they dont want you to leave they just want to cuddle and talk and I always have to come up with excuses to leave we all know the excuses.

Women beware of men who show these traits!

-Only talks to you from 9 am-5 pm.
Odds are this guy has a wife or a girlfriend and is hiding it from you.

-He always has to come to your place vs you go to his place.

-He only talks to you via email that is a fake email like JohnDoe@hotmail.com

-My favorite offers to give you money to get a hotel room on your credit card.

How do I know this stuff above because when I was younger I thought I was in love with a man when I was 19 and I never knew why he was like this. Than I found out about his wife and kids by checking out this site that is a dating site that warns people to stay away from this guy or girl and lets say I wasn’t the only one he was playing with, 19 year old with a 36 year old what was I thinking.

Learn from my personal experience:

I know aunt flow is a bitch and shows up it the worst times ever. Dont do this unless you have a best friend who can help you out with this.
–menstrual cups wonderful creation to use when your on your period and you want to get down and dirty unless you put it in wrong and cause a mess when having sex, not a good situation to be in especially if it’s not your own bed and if your partner has an overly large package that shit will move up and if your anything like me with small fingers its hard to get so I had to get my best friend to get it for me, she made me lay on those pee pads for dogs so I wouldn’t make a mess on her floor and she wore gloves and she will never let me forget this day but its beats my hospital visit read below experience.

So as an escort you learn things from escorts or strippers and what I learned from a fellow worker was natural sea sponge you insert to block bleeding works great and the thing of love about it is that you feel like you dont have your period. I once was with a guy who was overly large and long and I had the sponge in and when I went to remove it I couldn’t find in panic because I know of infections and what can happen if you have it in to long I had a long wait in the emergency and had to describe to a lot of nurses and doctor why this was in my vagina make matters worst they bring in the medical and nursing students not only am I humiliated and have guys and girls looking at my downstairs.

So I wanted to get kinky with my ex boyfriend and use anal beads while we had intercourse, it was great until I started to orgasm which cause a lot of contractions and tightening up the beads when up further. Another embarrassing moment.

Hopefully this personal embarrassing moments taught you something. It’s always best to wait until your off your period and better handles for some toys.

Hope you had some what of an interesting reading, please no negative thoughts about this I am being honest about things 😉

Today I am going to talk about society point of view on how women should be

Years and years of work I am finally okay with the way my body is and have acceptance that I will never be the perfect Barbie doll that’s a size 0, big breast, etc…

I have a daily struggle I am a bigger girl size 18, weight fluctuations, and of course an eating disorder.

My eating disorder started when I was a young girl I wasn’t too pudgy but I was slim like all my friends. I grew up being picked on by boys saying I was fat and ugly my whole life it still happens now but I choose not to believe it now because when most people say negative things towards you they are reflecting on themselves.

When I was 13 I moved in with my biological father and his partner and their kids. My step mom is those freakishly skinny people who never gain any weight and her kids are the same. Her way of telling me I need to lose weight was buying me smaller clothes. Long story short I remember my first time purging it was thanksgiving day let’s say it taste good going down but not up.

As I got older in my teen years I abused diet pills, caffeine pills, rarely ate, and I started my drug of choice at 15 you never forget your first high. It was on MDMA and E see I had this plan on just doing this to lose weight I lost some but it got to expensive and I quit.

At 17 my eating disorder was at its worst, just graduated high school, living on my own, and first year university student. It got to the point I couldn’t puke anymore even when sick, I started abusing laxatives, restricted diet to 1,500 calories a day, torture myself when I got hungry, drank lots of black coffee, smoked to kill the hunger pains, and I had to be at the gym 2-3 times a day. I also at this point was playing women rugby for me being skinny wasn’t all I wanted I love weight training and over did it I use yo force myself to do heavy weights when my body wanted to quit. I dont know how I did it or forced myself. I also abused Ritalin to give me energy at the gym.

My past is my past, I cant change the things I done because I can only learn from them to make me stronger.

Ya men want that hot blonde bomb shell but ask yourself do you really want someone for their looks?

I use to be all about looks, money, money, and successful people but now I want to be around people who are real and accept themselves for them and will accept me for me.

I say fuck society on how women are suppose to look chance are I have a better chance of becoming a doctor than being a model (I was studying to get into medical field).

To the women he are something simple to go by:

1) You are beautiful not matter what others or society may say. Beauty isn’t just looks what attracts people is confidences, fuck I think intelligent people are hot and it’s okay to be smart, and be yourself not those I like watching jersey shore, shopping, dieting etc bimbos.

2) Remember when someone gives you negative comeback example: your ugly and fat, they do it because they are reflecting themselves on to you. It’s likeable mirror what they say to you is what they say about themselves. They may be buff and attractive but it could be qualities they see inside themselves. It’s easier to call out other shit in other people than yourself.

3) Have days of taking care of yourself! Wear sexy lingerie (I know I love it and it makes me feel sexy), do your nails, hair, make up. It’s okay to be vain every now and than.

4) POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS!!  see I was a rugby girl there was no way in hell you would catch me doing yoga or doing this but I did and trust me it’s weird at first but gets better.

5) tell yourself “I love you ______.”

Thats all I got for today!

I want you to stay, It’s not much of a life you’re living

Hello,

Last night I hit my emotional rock bottom and when this usually happens I can make it through it and fight back or I give up and throw my hands in the air and cry which leads to self pity and wanting to end my life which ends up with me overdosing on pain killers, any form of pills that will numb all my pains and sorrows. Its been a rough three years I am starting to believe I see the light at the end of the tunnel. If you are wondering what I went through these years I was young and dumb in university and wanted to party decided to drop out (I would have been graduating this year and could have been an RN nurse but god had other plans for me), the only man I truly loved going in and out of the hospital due to health problems to him being on life support while I was in Spain but he is still here and I am forever grateful for that (My grandpa is my rock that holds me together and the only man I will ever listen to until I meet mr.right but if I dont find him I am happy with a women), My best friend died when I was in Africa and no one told me until I was close to coming home, its heartbreaking finding out someone you had your life planned together (He was my first friend I made in university I still have not been to the campus since he died the memories are horrible still cause I have this feeling I need to find him on campus but he is not there), I ended up in rehab last year and this place broke me and taught me how to deal with my feelings and grow up, after rehab it didn’t take awhile for me to go into old behaviors lots of sex, drugs, and alcohol before all of the shady shit I met a guy and I was determine I would not fall in love with him because he wasn’t my type i.e. rich, successful, good looking, and ass hole type personality. Well I fell in love with him and I do what I normally do when someone gets close to me I RUNAWAY, he came back into my life and taught me how to love unconditionally and to look inside someone rather than the outside. Months and months of were together to I never want to talk to you again and I always went back to him, Why? I believe I was comfortable  with him and was scared to lose him and never get a guy like that ever again.

This is three years summed up some what short. Now last night I cried all night because my ex said he couldn’t do what we were doing anymore because he feels he taken advantage of me, which I must say is the first time a guy ever said that to me. He fixed my car and gave me one last kiss good bye and left. With the shit I put myself through in the past couple of months, I wanted to numb that pain and forget everyone, my plan was A) Runaway and start a new life never talk to anyone again family or friends. B) Attempt to end my life. or C) Let out all my emotions and cry because that’s healing and think of a solution. I decided on living my life, pick myself up, and start life over again.

I hate depression and I dislike people who are overly happy all the time like fuck me give me what your on, my doctor is always the happy type I swear he’s on speed or something he all over the place and “high on life,” my ass haha!

The escorting has to end, no more sugar daddy, no more being a mistress because the truth is he will never leaving his life long partner and no matter how much he tells you he wants to be with you its a load of shit, I even know this and I tell my friends that all the time but I continue on going against my own advice (INSANITY expecting different outcomes when its always the same one), no more dating until I love myself and allow these wounds to heal, but I am not giving up on my sex drive just one booty call 😉

My plan getting a boring ass humbling job hooray to minimum wage job (sarcasm) its my fault for being a university drop out, save enough money to get my own place, start paying my debts, and live a yeppy lifestyle?

 

Also looking at going back into university just take a low stress course load!

Make up sex the best kind!

Yes yes I know morning of regret and shame!

I fucked my newly ex and how was it?

Before he came over my heart was racing I wanted to cry listening to Adele. Knocked on the hotel room door I answered the moment I looked into his eyes I knew it was over. We sat on the bed, cuddled, talked a little, and made out. I know I can have sex with any guy but with him it’s not just sex. I can be myself, relax, confident, I look into his eyes when we kiss and have sex (I never do that with any booty call) and I do this thing to him and I dont know why I touch along the side of his face when we kiss and play witg his hair. It was mind blowing sex and he got what he want backdoor fun 😉 I also got to go shopping at the sex shop with his plastic card I loaded up I’m not cheap hehe never tell a girl to get what you want without a set limit!! After sex we showered together kissed more than went to cuddle each other.

I’m so used of the fucking where you really just fuck and go your own ways.

I think I’m okay with where we are at!

I’m weak

Here I am again in a hotel room my heart pounding and I’m emotional and ready to cry.

Called my ex and he is on his way over I have anxiety attack and just want to cry and hold him in my arms and bag him to br with me. Why am I insane?

I’m starting everything all over, I take full responsibility and have no one to blame but myself!